I don't know what this picture is, it was taken last night.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
comforting to get some quiet time. Maybe the immune system does more
than protect the body, and shuts down once in awhile to protect the
La la la; it's all nicey-nice to be poetic about it, but that doesn't
make the symptoms go away! Grr~
I have been a bit tense lately. The best way to describe it would be
like a snake in old skin, a bit squashy. Feeling the need for change,
fresh paint on my living room wall, perhaps a new creative project (or
revival of an old). Feeling well creative at the moment, even if there
are no flashes of inspiration around.
But look I've painted this fine pear for you to get started. :)
Saturday, May 16, 2009
sleep til 3am, had a coffee at an early morning meeting, spent the
whole day nauseous and dizzy, had zero energy for retail therapy, and
demigod was being a turd over lan.
I realize that this being all I have to moan about means I have a
fairly easy life. I like to think I do, anyway. I put hopefully 100%
in to everything but dishes, laundry and waking up early - the idea of
all that not paying off would be quite shite.
My head's a little up in the air right now. Lots of things have
happened to get me wondering what I "want to be when I grow up" - new
hobbies, new opportunities and growing up in general. I'm not unhappy,
I'd love the sort of work that let's me use my body as well as connect
with people somehow. Singing or dancing are good examples, but it
seems rather one-way. Modelling too, and you wouln't get much control
over what kind of message you're sending. Maybe it's impossible to
find one single job that encompasses these things...?
I've decided for now that I'd like to be a professional footballer and
part-time window dresser. My cat has suggested I be a stay-at-home
litterbox executive, so I'm having to make some tough choices here.
Speaking of which, check out the beef cheeks & mash next time you're
at the Belgian in town. Hot tender fall-apart gravy meat - easiest
choice you'll ever make.
(This is not an ad, I've not been paid for this. It would be nice, though - I accept cash, credit and beef cheeks.)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
this is my fav pic from the shoot. even though it shows off eyebags, stubnose, meaty arms and no boobs, it looks the most natural.
i have bits of my body i dislike - many, many bits, and on some days more than others. but this has been my body for the last 28 years, and i can't help but grow to like it after so long.
perhaps that means i'm getting old(er). and let me say this - i've had a lot of time to think about getting old(er). my schoolmates are settling down and having kids, my baby sister will be finishing highschool in a year or so, and the little cousin of an old stoner buddy has recently entered "the next generation of ravers". there are also many spring chickens at work who frequently remind me that i'm no longer one myself.
but that's okay. i'm actually enjoying the mental part of aging. i get stuff these days that i never got before - the sort of stuff that makes me go, "aah, now i get what they mean by that." like...
"it's not what you say, but how and why you say it."
such a straightforward concept when you condense it into a neat sentence, but understanding how it applies day to day is tricky. and it all ties in with how you trust people, how confident you are in yourself, how that all affects what you say to someone, what words you use, what words from their vocabulary you borrow to get the message across - the kind of unselfishness and appreciation for others that usually comes with age.
"respect your elders"
i used to think this meant simply obeying people older or more senior than you, and as a result got pointed in many wrong directions. then i decided i knew EVERYTHING, since the seniors couldn't seem to get it right either. and anyway, the idea of respecting your elders doesn't get much merit because you usually hear it from an older person when you argue with them on something they've been wrong about before. looking back now, i think the intention was that everyone should genuinely consider what another person brings to the table. and in the case of an elder person, it's life experience - something a younger inexperienced person is often not aware they lack.
"looks can be deceiving"
you get obvious examples of this from children's tv shows, but there are no smurf riddles or magic beans in real life, so you have to grow a bit of cynicism in order to see how it relates to everyday situations. i think getting older/wiser/more mature means being able to bring a considered approach to assessing how things look, rather than punctuating a train of thought with, "that's a stupid idea," or, "that's a brilliant idea (for no reason at all)". hah - cynicism in order to keep an open mind, i guess.
so this is me at a ripe old(er) age of 27 and a half.
now get off my lawn.