Took the day off work today to lie in bed with sore glands and dizzy
sinuses. I'm not coughy or sniffly, just woozy and a bit throbby. It's
like having the flu without any snotty evidence you can use to garner
sympathy. Woo - go me.
Questions of the future have popped up a lot lately. Would I ever get
married again? Will I ever have a baby? Where do I see myself in a
couple of years? What do I want to be when I grow up?
The answer to all of these questions is either "hell no" or "I don't
know".
I know I come across as a fairly organized person. And I'm proud of
being a fussy, yes. But I do have a special place in my heart for
uncertainty. I love having enough chaos to balance out the anal
retention. The emphasis here is on balance.
I like to imagine the future loosely, think on core stuff that feels
good deep down, then improvise around it. For example, it feels good
to raise and nurture somethingbthat can love you back, but I don't
need to have a baby to do that.
I could have cats instead, and send them off to learn the piano and
become top-notch lawyers and doctors - the way any self-respecting
asian parent would.
Sometimes improvisation includes short-term list-making and medium-
term goal-setting, but This business of meticulous planning for the
long-term is not for me.
At least, not now. Maybe one day. Today, I'll concentrate on bed and
rest. Good night. :)
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